Love Bombing In Recruitment

by Lauren Murray

Love bombing is a term used to describe tactics designed to influence a person through displays of attention, affection, and flattery. Perhaps you've heard of it in the context of flirting, dating and romantic partners? 

It can also relate to a prospective new employer. 

Exploring new job opportunities can be an exciting time, mirroring the experience of re-entering the dating scene after a break-up. A jobseeker can consider what is out there, meet with potential new employers to see if they are the right fit, judge if their goals and values align and, of course, decide if there is that much needed spark of mutual attraction.

However, in their attempts to attract someone to their team, prospective employers may go above and beyond in their attempts to secure the best talent – resulting in the candidate being love bombed.

So, how will you know if you are being love bombed? 

In the recruitment process, love bombing could take different forms, both to entice someone to accept a new job offer or to encourage them to remain in their current role rather than take a new opportunity, including:

• Bombarding a candidate with messages and constantly checking in.
• Showering them with praise and positive affirmations before they accept a position.
• Overselling a company and a role in terms of the culture, role content and team dynamics and then under-delivering once a candidate has been onboarded.

When this does happen, it's not done maliciously but as a mechanism designed to portray the hiring company in a favourable light. Sadly though, it leads to disillusioned employees if there’s a gulf between the interview experience and the actual work experience.

• Stay aware - spotting when any love bombing methods are being used will allow you to consider your next move with a clear head and not be swept along in a wave of flattery.
• Interviews are a great opportunity to find out more about a company. Use the ‘do you have any questions for us?’ section in an interview wisely. Think carefully about what you'd like to know and ask your questions politely - you don't want to appear rude or sound sceptical about what you've been told by the interviewer. 
• Cut through the flattery by focussing on what's important to you, for example “How long do people tend to stay in this role?” “How often does the company review its remuneration?” “Talk me through the benefits package for this role please.” or “Explain the training opportunities that are provided here.” These will help you perform your own due diligence.
  
• Take online reviews with a pinch of salt. Rather, find a source of information that you trust, be that a recruiter, friend, family member, or someone in your network that knows the organisation well.

Love bombing can result in both parties being unhappy, the relationship ending and the process having to begin again. 

Often, it is the employers that strike a good balance between positivity and realism that are the ones who are most likely to land the right candidates.

Sometimes the recruitment process is like love at first sight, and sometimes it can take a person a long time to find ‘the one’. But a simple truth remains, when you know, you know.

Lauren Murray is a lead recruiter at TMM Recruitment and specialist in Accountancy & Finance resourcing, T01224 327 671, lmurray@tmmrecruitment.com.